other things, just as cold

DSCN8500

……
i bought myself flowers two days ago. just because.
tulips – orange ones and purple ones.
i bought enough so i could put some in every room of my little nook.
i wanted to be able to see them, no matter where i was.
they’re really starting to open up today. the petals are relaxing. stems curving.
their sweet, subtle smell keeps catching me off guard.
i can’t tell you how much i like that.

……

there is something strange in my bones these days.
an awkwardness. an unsettledness.
a neither here nor there.
they feel sluggish and unfocused but at the same time, antsy and in-want of.
at first i called it jet lag. then i blamed the full moon. maybe it’s more aptly
a question i don’t yet have the answer to.

……

my mind keeps wandering backwards.
it’s not nostalgia. more like the opposite.
tip-toeing back through moments and memories and tender places
that don’t feel so good. that make the heart feel its weight. that force me to reckon with
forgiveness and regret.
i don’t know why that’s the path i keep returning to. i have theories, but no proof.
i keep hoping it’s leading me somewhere good.
out of brambles and thorns come berries and roses…right?

……

i’ve been opening the windows whenever i can. even just for a few minutes. layer on another sweater, more socks.
it’s worth it.
to feel that fresh spring air.
to smell dirt and hear birds. to have the lines between inside and outside become just a little bit thinner.
i’m so hungry for sun and wind and warmth.
i think i’m just really ready for something new.

……

Spring is a time for dreamers. Spring is a time for coming clean in the scrubbing scream of the wind. Spring is for breaking free of the manacles of whatever cold thing that has been holding you far too tightly, for far too long. I’m not even talking about ice and snow, I’m talking about other things, just as cold, that shrink and burn the spirit and nibble on your bones. Cast it all off and begin anew. This season gives full license to beginnings, limitless living, leaping forth into height and strength. Upward. Onward.

Dear hearts, oh, dear hearts. Grow only hope, I will too.

– from The Noisy Plume

……

Words + Photos + Credit

Unless otherwise noted, all original photography and text are property of Raechelle Kennedy. If you see or read something here and feel inspired to share it somehow, please be considerate and give the artist (me!) credit, or even better, drop me a note and make sure I don’t mind.
Thank you!

Here + There

Secondhand Sainthood and the gift of losing it all – Topology Magazine, December 2015

Ten Things Made – Topology Magazine, December 2015

Subscribe!