what does it take to fall in love with being alive?

canoe tim steve

i went and saw this film the other night. it tugged and pulled at my insides.

it’s been swirling around in my thoughts ever since.

little lines, pieces of thoughts…

…if you can’t befriend your own death, then how strongly in your life are you?

…what we all need to know is that we are not alone.

…the greatest skill we can bring to the dying is our capacity to be heartbroken.

…how do you live your dying every day?

i have all these notes that i  scribbled on paper in the dark while the film played. little snapshots to return to. to keep chewing on. there was so much crammed in that 70 minute documentary. so much more than i could take in or absorb.

i think the biggest idea from the film for me, the thing that i keep repeating to myself, is the idea that in order to really love my life,       i need to learn to love the end of it. in order to fully appreciate the gift, i need to embrace the truth that i won’t always have it.

some days i feel like i can do that.

other days it feels too big. too scary.

how do i learn to relax my grip?

when the waters are calm it feels easy to relax. but when storms blow in, when the precariousness of life, the heartache of death, are crashing all around us, how do we still hold this gift in open hands…?

how do we let go and not grab on?

how do we live gratitude, both in the middle and at the end?

One Response to what does it take to fall in love with being alive?
  1. Erin

    I am so intrigued and want to see this film now.
    Thank you for sharing…
    Love your words.

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